YEAAAAH

4march__murders @ 2005-10-02T11:44:00

2005-10-02T15:45:17Z

NEW LIVEJOURNAL
ADDDDDD IT.

__like sup

__like sup

__likesup

4march__murders @ 2005-09-30T22:40:00

2005-10-01T02:43:25Z

k so FDR is maaaad lame. but wicked funny. i mean. what dumbass punches a cop?! really. i'm glad the dog bit her and she got arrested. i heard like 3 poeple got arrested. monday should be interesting. cant wait :]. oh & i LOVE the long fire drills.

i REALLLLLLY hate how people judge you by you're age. like. i talk to MAD people who are like 17 & 18 and shit and they're all like daaang you're mad chill and shit. and then they find out i'm 15 and sudden i'm some lame ass young girl?! wtf. & it happens kinda a lot. whatever its their loss. i hate when i'm judge on the stupidest things. a lot.

so like me and dan are like waaaay chill and shit. yeah. we's pretty badass.

i forgot who Punkjoker555 is and i'm scared to IM them. akhsd ugly.

saw dave like 894760954 times today. :] i miss him.

october 6th - haste the day
november 19th - pfff. like fucking 40 bands.
fucking kill.

might hang out with nick tomorrow.
if he feels like driving the 30 minutes to come get me.
which i know he does.
cause we're married and he said this weekend we're gonna do stuff.
so either tomorrow or sunday. :D

i forgot how much i love as i lay dying.

i miss stephanie. we need to play.

& i love how basically allll my friends live atleast 30 minutes away. ugly shit.

you people really need to start calling me waaay more.

i dont normally talk like this do i?

end.

4march__murders @ 2005-09-29T15:26:00

2005-09-29T19:29:37Z

i dont really like it. but it's growing on me. && my new shoes are hot shit yo. k.

& wtf. i hate my school. only cause. the ghetto peeps (90% of my school) went & beat up lizzie & danny & mccabe & ALMOST chris. when they didn't do shit. sjklydfgiskidhftjiskdfhtjskghdsfgdfg. & wtf was with all the "OOOOH!!"'s at lunch? k. ajasdf. whatever. assholes.

oh & i'm listening to the click 5. hhahaahhahahaah. like. seriously.

4march__murders @ 2005-09-28T22:48:00

2005-09-29T02:56:36Z

okok.
so the lady totaly fucked up my hair.
& i HATE it a lot.
BUT atleast its not as bad as my dads hair cut.
hes basically bald now. hahhhaha.
i teared up laughing so hard.
but yeah. my hair was suppose to be a lighish brown with just a TINT of red.
cept this lady spoke like 7 words of english.
so its a deeep red the didn't even cover up my old black streaks. it looks a little retarted.

BUTBUTBUTBUT.
like my EBFFL JAYDENBUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG is THE greatest.
and told me about this stuff that washes it away after a week or so.
& dont get me wrong. i've loved jaydenbug since forever. but now. its like x987059234250394545 more. yeah. he's incredibly.

the only thing i like about my hair is that it really brings out my pretty green eyes :].
cept now my lips are like WOOOH POW BAM pink. :/.
whatever.

i'll hopefully have my old hair back soon.
& THEN I'M NEVER EVER CHANGING IT AGAIN.
mhm.

oh & carly was like laughing the whole time.
its k tho. shes my wifey & like mad love there yo.

so homework. then bed.

4march__murders @ 2005-09-28T17:21:00

2005-09-28T21:25:48Z

@630
i'm getting my new hair.
i'm really scared.
like really.

& my shoes came today :D
waaaaay way happy about that.

i'm sick again.

carly suppose to come with me for my new hair. but idk how to get a hold of her cause idk where she'll be after 5. sjdghsdfuthdfghsdfg.

its ONLY wednesday.
bummer.
& reallllllllly cold.

i kinda like a boy :]

OH & like. me and jayden haven't talked in 9056394769056873456 days.
thats reallllly gross. and i miss him.

nick left me a reallllly cute message on my phone.
heh he's cute. & like. the best best friend ever.

this i miss.

&& him i miss.bfffffffff

4march__murders @ 2005-09-27T20:15:00

2005-09-28T00:19:39Z

absolutely nothing makes sence anymore.
& everything is just screwing with my head.
so. after a looooong talk with my mom.
after midterms. i actually might be going to live with my cousin for the rest of the school year and summer in california.
no joke.

& why my cousin?
cause him & my uncle are basically the ONLY people who honestly & truely listen & care & just make life easier. atleast it seems. they have a way of dealing with things like no one else.

4march__murders @ 2005-09-26T18:54:00

2005-09-26T23:01:59Z

i like plain white t's & shiny toy guns.
like a lllllot. :]

oh & i'm done with family, [some] friends, boys, anything making sence.
yeah. basically.

i'm changing my hair. a lot.
same cut. diff colors. :]
like brownish/redtint. & front black.
yeah. i've had blonde hair since birth. i'm sick of it.
so. time for a change.
i'm scared but cant wait.

sunday = cartel :]
hope i can go.

i'm reallllllly done with boys.
uuugh. :[

tattoo in october :].
yay yay yay yay yay.

END.

4march__murders @ 2005-09-25T00:25:00

2005-09-25T04:32:44Z

QVWDPOJ: you are attractive
i love how 4 guys told me that today.
K SO I'M HOTT SHIT WHAAAAAAAAT. :]
yeah you know it.

tomorrow should be fun.
yay for garlic and a whole festival for it!!
yeah no. i only really like garlic on garlic bread.
on anything else.. its just gross.

hm so i love how my dad said i was useless
& my cousin said "i have problems" cause of my myspace about me.
..then called me a fag.
& then my mom was b eing such a BITCH to me over the stupidest things.
.. i love how my family doesn't accept me.
yeah i'm really loved here.

i seriously LOVE my friends.
seriously.
every single one. & the people i "met" today :].
asghsgjdsyfgtsdftydufgsdjfgdg.
so i'm alittle lame.

i'm gonna freeze to death.
really am. i'm WAAY cold.

4march__murders @ 2005-09-24T17:57:00

2005-09-24T22:06:27Z

yesterday justin came over.
it was fun[ny] & boring.
he showed me his "stalkers" on myspace.
& we watched the weird ass people on tv.
& all the old men have REALLY big ears.
thats about it.
oh & we called the prayer line.
haha. but all prayer partners were busy.
yeah it was fun. but watching tv got reallllll boring.
whatever.
his car is a piece of shit.
oh & marc marron leaves him funny voice mails. haha.

i think i'm taller then derek. haha.
yay. yeah. jerry had friends over too.
but they're weird.
& i fell asleep on the coach with tupac :]
i love him a lot. & then.. he came with me to my room.
and slept there with me adn snoopy. :]
k. i own cute cats.

BASICALLY me adn jaydenbug are cute and we rock.
the most. you cant top us. :]
MAD MAD MAD love for him.

i'm cousin is realllllly mean. really mean.

i want new clothes. but thats not gonna happen. :/

NOVEMBER 19TH :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

tomorrow i'm going to the garlic festival.
anyone want to join me?

4march__murders @ 2005-09-22T22:39:00

2005-09-23T02:44:43Z

ok so i love
carly & maria & dan & jaydenbug & sean & alex & shawan & lizzie & stephanie & malissa & justin & jesse & chris & jason & taylor & i'm pretty sure thats it.
deal with it.

i feel bad... about something.. not bad but all jsakdfhlgskdhfgisudftysdfg. ew.

& i think i might like this boy... but idk. its too early to tell. & i'm not sure i really should. but ugh. whatever.

tomorrow justin's coming over.. suposibly. should be interesting.

done.

oh.
& seriously. i'm pretty sure you cant get better then Jaydenbug.
its just not possible.

DrxxmsComeClever: its the presser change
DrxxmsComeClever: sometiems ill run upstairs and back down
DrxxmsComeClever: and that helps
DrxxmsComeClever: no lie
DrxxmsComeClever: so im like kneeling on the chair
bulletbang murdr: HAHAHAHA
bulletbang murdr: you're cute.
DrxxmsComeClever: heh sqwating..and im afraid im goin to fall backwards=\
DrxxmsComeClever: lol i try
bulletbang murdr: dont get hurt.
DrxxmsComeClever: lol
DrxxmsComeClever: im a clutz
DrxxmsComeClever: im ALWAYS getting hurt
bulletbang murdr: omg me too. like today.. i was coming home from school and i was walking up the front walk way and i like.. seriously tripped on an acorn.
bulletbang murdr: no lie.
DrxxmsComeClever: lmao omg
DrxxmsComeClever: joan
DrxxmsComeClever: i love you
bulletbang murdr: haha<3
DrxxmsComeClever: <3
DrxxmsComeClever: i trip upstairs and on my own feet:-)
bulletbang murdr: no rub burns i hope :]
DrxxmsComeClever: once i triped up the stairs and broke my big toe:]

he's fun & stuffffffffff.

4march__murders @ 2005-09-21T21:42:00

2005-09-22T02:06:25Z

ok so.
i'm DONE with everything and just about everyone.
theres no point in anything and nothing makes sence.
cause..

i have no friends.
no wait.. i have exactly 6 friends who still have my respect.
the rest of my "friends" have lost all the respect i had for them.
all.
BUT i NEVER see those 6 friends.
cause 2 dont go to my school
and the other 4.. i see for like 6 seconds in hte hall if i'm lucky.
& i've lost my BEST friends to college and other people and stupid shit.

&& those "friends" are really stupid and immature and i hate them.
some complain about how boys only wanna go out with them to fuck them WHEN they go off and fuck boys just for the hell of it.
........
you're stupid and i NEVER want to hear you say some shit like that again.
if you dont have respect for yourself what makes you think people are gonna respect you.
& some just stopped talking to me all together.
i have no clue as to why. whatever. dont except me to be here when you decide you want to talk and be all best friends again. that's not reality.

i'm soooooooooo over high school and all hte people and they're bullshit.
like today.
i was at my locker and tony nad cory and some other guy are walking by and i hear them talking but not really paying any attention until i hear tony yell "check out this girl at her locker" and then cory goes "HAHAHAH oh my god i cant believe you"..
ok.. what the fuck.. i've never talked to them before in my life.
&& just by the way people look at me and shit. i'm pretty sure people are talking about me.. even though i've never talked to some of them in my life besides maybe a question or something.
& i'm sick of how everyone thinks that the stupid things are EXTREMELY IMPORTNA and omg i have to go beat the shit outta them for tripping me!JY#!IU!*
grow up.

& i'm tired of my parents juging my friends before they've even met them. seriously. if i tell them someone the kid did.. and they think its weird or crazy.. they're all i dont know if i want you hanging out with them shit.
they're my friends and they actually care about me and how i feel.
oooh no. not my parents. they're too worried about work and money. like tonight.
i had to remind my mom to bring me to the hospital...
she was too worried about how she was getting to PA saturday.
&& man. everything with them just gets worse day to day. i dont care.

i've taught myself how to hold back all the tears. i've gotten good. whatever. even if i cried people would "care" for 10 seconds tehn go adn tell me how they cant get the boy or girl that they like to talk to them. WHATEVER. i've realized that all i really need is myself in life.

i LOVE how my closest friends who i talk to everyday are found through myspace. seriously....
its realllllllllllly sad.
but thats what i get for living in a town where just about everyone is fake.

hmmm. k well. i'm done.
theres really no point to everything anymore.
honestly.
all i'm gonna worry about it getting good grades so i can get the fuck outta here.
&& going to shows where i find some GOOD friends. and people who care about me. :)

4march__murders @ 2005-09-20T23:14:00

2005-09-21T03:40:41Z

:)
Notre Dame was fun. a lot of fun. got there friday around 1pm. it was cold and rainy and i had my gym shorts on. it was cold. so we went to the bookstore and the student center and watched golf and to the joyce center and the grottoe (sp?) and then my dad and to work.. so he went to the car. my brother went back to the student center to eat.. my mom went to the bookstore and i met up with matt. i missed that kid. we went to his dorm and i met some of his friends. they're nice and kinda cute :). especaily andrew. but yeah. got lost getting to the hotel. since it was in michigan. then.. saterday got up early and went to the campus to find parking and shit. then took the bus to the campus since we were parked in white feild.. a mile north.. there must have been atleast 700 cars parked there.. it was crazy.. then my dad went off to sell the extra tickets we had.. so me jerry and my mom walked around campus.. went to see matt then back to the car to tailgate. then around 130 we went back to campus to watch the band march and then went in the stadium for the game. shit was crazzzzy. & i love how every year we get seated by the students. they're insane adn i love it. first home game with the new coach :). notre dame made an AMAZING comback with 3 touchdowns in one couter. i loved it... but during overtime michigan state won :(. that ruined my night. but whatever. um.. during the game i sat with matt and his friends for one couter.i pulled a sneak attack on them. it was fun and matt gave me a HUGE hug. my god i've never had so much fun. :) left around 11 and this guy at the hotel i saw and he stared at me... woh hott. and he thought i was pretty. niiice. OH. friday was the pep rally. but we didn't get in cause of some fire code. BUT idk thats never happend before.. they use to always get everyone in. whatever. i was standing next to this unbelieveably hot boy. whatever. it was fun. sunday we left.. but this time we took a different way home... through canada. and now i basically love cananda and stuff. they're money is fucking wicked.i mean.. they're 10 dollar bill is purple!! yeah.. ACE. we went to niagra falls. & canada has the prettiest boys i've ever seen. ever. got home at 1230ish. :)

we might go back to notre dame in november :)

so my lunch has two verrrry pretty boys. very :).

&& i grossed myself out today.. i went over to see carl and kayla and like.. i didn't even finish walking over ther and carl was all 'your gay".. and i was like "yeah i know..... wait what ew no!" haha yeah.. i felt all weird after that cause i'm grossed out by lesbians. and they're ffriends looked at me alittle weird for a moment. but whatever. carl and kayla and basically some of the coolest people i know. oh carl made me s[ill my water when he came up behind me and squeezed the life out of me :) its k tho.

anyways. i've decided to do my homework this year and next year and the year after.. so i can go to college. its a good idea i think.

JKSLHDKGSDDKG. JAYDENBUG IS MY FAVVVVVVVV. mhm. he's cute adn text me during school. its fun :). && i FINALLY got to talk to him. its been like.. i've died twice already and came back.... that long. and i'm talking to him now :). Jaydenbug is fun.

Alex is cute and stuff :). i wanna see him.

i miss the fuck out of nick and ryan. i need to call them tomorrow.

tomorrow = mall. :)

i need american money. all i have is canadian :/.

night. wait.. here are some pictures.

me & jerry.

boy in camo = andrew. boy in white shirt = matt.

i pulled a sneak attack on them.:)

sup band.

i love it there.

10 is brady quinn. boy is hottttttttt.

:) :) :) :)

4march__murders @ 2005-09-14T20:56:00

2005-09-15T00:59:41Z

soo this week i'll only be in school for 2 days.
friday-today i've been sick. but today i went to school.
but late :). && tomorrow i'm going. but friday i'm not.
cause tomorrow around 4-430pm we're driving indiana.
:D!!!!!!!
i cant wait. i love Notre Dame and its campus and the people and the footbal games and hte pep rally and the dorms and MATT.. but not HIS dorm ew.. and the crazy students and just everything.
since we're driving we'll probably get there mid-morning early(ish) afternoon there friday :). &&&&& i really love long car rides. LONG car rides. especialy to fun places that i love more then you know.
notre dame, the chance, sweden and cali are my FAVORITE places i've been to and comtining going to.
ANYWAYS. this times going to be waaaaay more fun cause so far they're undefeted AND its their first home game of the season :) :) :) :) :).yay.

but yeah.i'm still alittle sick. hell i wasn't even going to go to school today. but i decided to even tho i felt like shit and still kinda do. i'm not near as bad as i was.
sahfajksdhfkasd f i have to take these pills that are like.. the size of a horse. seriously tho. everytime i take them they get stuck in my throat. ew. whatever.
&&& i'm glad cause i didn't really have any homework to catch up on. only science and that shit was easy.

oh & i'm alittle mad. cause NO ONE calls me. and only TWO people text me. && one just does it when he's horney... k thats a LONG sotry that you dont need to know about.. and the other one. well. he's pretty wicked and funny to talk to.
so... ew & gross if you dont bother talking to me.

&&&&7&&7!!! I REALLLLY MISS JAYDENBUG AND HAVEN'T TALKED TO HIM IN ATLEAST 7 YEARS AND 3 DAYS!!! :''(

home for the next 3 days :D

&&&&& i'm obcessed with this song.

hey there delilah
whats it like in new york city
im a thousand miles away
but girl tonight you look so pretty
yes you do
time square cant shine as bright as you
i swear its true

hey there delilah
dont you worry about the distance
im right there if you get lonely
give this song another listen
close your eyes
listen to my voice its my disguise
im by your side

oh its what you do to me
oh its what you do to me
oh its what you do to me
oh its what you do to me
what you do to me

hey there delilah
i know times are gettin hard
but just believe me girl
someday ill pay the bills with this guitar
we'll have it good
we'll have the life we knew we would
my word is good

hey there delilah
ive got so much left to say
if every simple song i wrote to you
would take your breath away
id write it all
even more in love with me youd fall
we'd have it all

oh its what you do to me
oh its what you do to me
oh its what you do to me
oh its what you do to me

a thousand miles seems pretty far
but they've got planes and trains and cars
id walk to you if i had no other way
our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
that none of them have felt this way
delilah i can promise you
that by the time that we get through
the world will never ever be the same
and youre to blame

hey there delilah
you be good and dont you miss me
two more years and youll be done with school
and ill be makin history like i do
you know its all because of you
we can do whatever we want to
hey there delilah heres to you
this ones for you

oh its what you do to me
oh its what you do to me
oh its what you do to me
oh its what you do to me
what you do to me

4march__murders @ 2005-09-11T02:53:00

2005-09-11T06:59:07Z

i'm updating casue i'm in too much pain to sleep.

my throat, head, stomack neck eyes back and nose hurt. and my heart hurts and its hard to breath. i dont like this. at all. for once in my life i wish i wasn't sick on the weekend or during the week. cause tomorrow is the my american heart show.. and obivously i'm not going anymore since i feel like i'm dying. i'm pretty sure i need a doctor cause my heart hurts a lot and its getting really hot and it feels like theres something in my wind pipe blocking air so i have to take really deep breathes just to breath normal. atleast it feels that way. and i'm getting alittle dizzy.. so i'm gonna go lay down now.

4march__murders @ 2005-09-08T18:51:00

2005-09-09T00:11:52Z

last nights show was AMAZING. deff. one of the best shows i've been to. was with LIZZIE and JOHN nad WILLIE. i love them a lot. the pit during every time i die was one of the best i've seen. the chariot was good. i thought they would've been better. but they were still pretty badass. and these two assholes were fucking fighting while the chariot played. it just just... ew. but THEIR MERCH GUY!! haha he's fucking awesome. like wow. ahha all he had on was these short short mesh shorts. and his hair! omg. it was great.. and by that i mean funny.. and when i went up to the table he's all "wooh!! you totaly look like some old 80's rocker chick... buuuut i cant remember her name!!!" haha. so yeah then we were talking for like 5 minutes. he's awesome. OMGGGGG. high on fire is THE WORST band i've ever heard. and they wouldn't stop playing. i swear they must have played atleast 8 songs. and they fucking sucked. let me put it this way.. i'd rather listen to country then have to listen to them play. it was that bad... oh i got a every time i die hoodie. i have to play lizzie back 10 dollars. um.. but yeah. the show was AMAZING. and i miss last night a lot.

after the show.. omg. total chaos. i'm walking out.. and infront of me the bouncer is trying to get this one guy out.. but he's all fighting back adn shit.. so he gets outside and starts talking shit to the bouncer and the bouncer is sorta ingnoring it.. until this other guy starts bitching to the guy the bouncer threw out.. and then the bouncer sees that the guy he threw out is now picking a fight with the guy that started bitching at him.. so the bouncer "tackles" him so.. idk.. somehow the bouncer and the guy start fighting.. so like 3 guys try to break it up.. but then they start fighting.. and then.. all of a sudden there was like 20 guys fighting eachother in the alley.. and everyones going crazy and either fighting or trying to break it up.. so about.. 5 minutes later.. it eventually gets broken up when some guy with a bloody nose starts screaming i didn't hit him or someshit.. so then.. we all look over and see some guy fucking trashed just laying on the ground lifeless... so the cops come and we're all looking.. he guy was alive thank god.. but i saw his face.. HUGE swollen black eye and blood everywhere. it was soo brutal. then the ambulance comes and jesus. it was chaos. then more cops came and told us all to leave.. so most of us did.

that was crazy.

4march__murders @ 2005-09-07T17:09:00

2005-09-07T21:22:28Z

okok. high school is lame.
& being a sophmore is lame.
and I HATE FRESHMEN.
and their height.

first period is pretty badass.
my teacher is the shit.
cept for his facial hair. WTF.
&& i love how i sit in the back.
LOVE IT.
jesse, ryan, and charlie are in my class :)

second period is alright.
my teacher has a speach problem. but he makes fun of it.
its mad funny. i laughed a lot.
SUCKS that its science which ='s lab every ACE day.
TJ's in my class. ahhaa i love it.

third.. yeah science.

fourth is math.
my teacher is skinnier then me.
and talkes weird. its annoying.
dont really know people in that classs tho..
oh well. its math. :/

fifth is lunch with KAYLA FUCKING SMITH
& mia & shamika and lindsey and chris and matt and others.
SINCE DAVE ADN CARL ARE IN THE OTHER CAFE!
ew.

sixth is global.
check out this combo..
my teacher was born in hon kong
but raised on long island.
its soo weird seeing this little (but fat) jap lady with a long island accent.
haha but whatever.
carly, jesse, joe, charlie and dj are in that class.

seventh is sign lang.
i guess they had to put the 2nd and 3rd level sign lang together cause only 4 people are in level 3.
so.. its gona be interesting to see how this is gonna work.
BUT ITS ALLL GRAVEY BABY.. cause matt sat right next to me.
k so i think he's bangin' :)
but tomorrow we get asigned seats.
mike, ben, yasim, chris, and mark are in that class.
but i'm not really friends with them.
whateverkerthjsl;drtksjkgjsdlgsdg.

eightn is art.
fucking kill me.
i dont know if i can take one more year with mr. massa.
&& great he fucking remembers me.
he fucking hates me.
uuuuugh. i might drop out.
but i like art.
shit.

anyways..
the day was rather lame.
cept i love seeing my friends.
that i haven't seen in a while.
like.
malissa & lizzie & stephanie & jesse & ryan & charlie & heather & steph & Shawan & carl & carly & amy & a lot of other people. :)

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
tonights
EVERY TIME I DIE
THE RED CHORD
THE CHARIOT
& high on fire.
& lizzie and kyle and john (?) are gonna be there :D
so tonights gonna be the shit.

i hate schoo.

4march__murders @ 2005-09-05T20:53:00

2005-09-06T01:05:12Z

went to the mall tonight to apply.
apparently you have to be 16 to work anywhere.
cept maybe pacsun. so i'm gonna go back when they have applications. but seeing how they didn't have any left tonight. i doubt i'll get hired there. && seeing how i refuse to work at a fast food place and stuff. looks like i'm not getting a job until march. i'm alittle mad.

&& still my dad finds "reasons" for it being my fault. mm i'd be a lot happier if he wasn't in my life at all. pff. hell i'd BE happier if he wasn't in my life. i mean.. he's the main reason i cut. he ALWAYS makes me feel like shit and gets mad at me for everything even it its not my fault. and tells me he hates me and everything about me. yup. but my mom loves him and shit. so i'm stuck here until i'm 18.

& thats basically why i need friends. to get me out of this house when i cant take it and stuff. buuuuut i dont have any. atleast ones that live close.

DrxxmsComeClever: they hurt:-(
bulletbang murdr: yeah i know. lol.. dont worry.. later tonight or tomorrow you wont even notice.
DrxxmsComeClever: thank god
DrxxmsComeClever: i cant really get the left one in that far
bulletbang murdr: BE A MAN AND PUSH IT!
bulletbang murdr: lol jk jk
DrxxmsComeClever: lmao
DrxxmsComeClever: BITE ME IMMA PUSSY
bulletbang murdr: HAHAHA

wow. jaydenbug is seriously my favorite. E-BFFL!! like mad love yo.

thers no point to this

2005-09-05T21:49:21Z

no point at all.

tomorrow when my mom comes home from work we are going to target so i can apply for a job. & then i want a cd. shit wait i have no money.

HOPEFULLY wednesday i'll be going to a show. HOPEFULLYHOPEFULLYHOPFULLY. cause because some of my favorite bands are playing. && then a show sunday :). eeeeps i cant wait.

fashionXXXwhorre: joanieeee
bulletbang murdr: james!
fashionXXXwhorre: wanna take a shower with me?
bulletbang murdr: yes.
fashionXXXwhorre: come over righ now
fashionXXXwhorre: im going to in a minute
bulletbang murdr: ok. i'm on my way
i'm not a slut. we're married. so its ok.

well.. for the past 3 day i've thought that. :)

text message to taylor :))))))

i'm a duck.

ew.

Tupac is quite cute i think.

the wifey and i. :)

i hope i end up working at target.

every time i die is god. endofstory.

i'm done.

4march__murders @ 2005-09-05T12:32:00

2005-09-05T17:03:24Z

last night was soooo much fun.
ryan picked me up around 9 and we went to nicks. that car ride was fun. we almost died a few times... cause we were laughinf really hard. ANYWAYS. got to nicks. had cake. since it was ryan's 18th birthday... talk about great friends.. i've known ryan for about a month and he wanted to spend his 18th birthday with just me and nick :) i feel incredibly loved. but yeah. then we went on myspace. and played video games and watched a movie and goofed around. then we went for a walk. me and nick layed in the street and looked at the stars. then ryan decided to hump me in missionary possition. yeah. that was interesting. and blah blah. we took a lot of pictures. i need to get them from nick tho. ryan said he saw a ufo hahhahaa. but yeah we went back. & took the car to 711. thats our "hang out place". and bought A LOT of candy. then the car ride home we ate it all. and we saw a deer. and nick stopped the car and ryan chased them haha. then i think he got lost in the woods cause he was calling for us and we had to yell for him to find his way back to us. haha. got back to nicks. we all layed on top of eachother and watched the notebook :) they like that movie & so do i :). then since nick HAS THE BIGGEST SOFA EVERRRRR. we all slepped on it. when we went to sleep i was in the middle of them.. when i woke up nick and ryan were all on top of eachother. i started laughing a lot. and that woke up nick.. who saw what he was doing and like jumped off which basically killed ryan's face. my mom came and got me at 10 :/. sjdlghdsfustdksghflsdhg i miss them a lot. they're my best friends.

today i was suppose to go to target and apply for a job. well. my mom said thats what we were gonna do. BUT that hasn't happend... well it is only 1.. so theres time. jksfg whatever.

tomorrows that last day of summer. WTF. i'm not ready for school. ugh. i hate this.

4march__murders @ 2005-09-04T01:17:00

2005-09-04T05:31:08Z

today was gooooooooood.
went to seans around 630 and hung out with him dan travis and cathrine and some other girl who's name i dont remember. then abby and jessie came and we all went for a walk and i can actually give dan a piggy-back ride. thats right.. with these guns and all. and then we were outside for like EVER. it was mad cold. so abby and jessie left. then travis went inside. then the two girls did. then me dan and sean tried to find teh star thingyies. then sean went in and me and dan were just sitting on the hamic talking about the moona dn shit. then we went in. and did shit. then my mom picked me up around 1030ish. travis reminds me of tyler. its actually alittle scarey how much they are alike. i saw sean naked. ON ACCIDENT. and watched a lot of videos of them all skating. i was kinnnnnda quiet. but fuck it when am i not?! anyways. it was fun.. ish.

i have no friends. its offical. no one asks me to hang out. no one seems to really care about me. blah blah. but thats ok. i probably hate you anyways. for something you did or done or something.

ok. so i have a few. duh. look what i did tonight.. so i like them. and besides them i only like.. maybe 5 other people in hyde park. cause they ACTUALLY TALK TO ME AND SEEM TO GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ME.. yeah. a phone call once and a while wouldn't kill you. i'm always the one calling people and seeing if they want to do something. i'm tired of it and honestly dont have the money it costs to call people and shit. && its fucking lame how my REALLY REALLY good friends who i know care about me and want to hang out with me live atleast 30 minutes away. so i dont get to see them that often. so whatever. i give up on having friends who care be close.

which leads to.. tomorrow night i might go to nicks :D i hope i do. and Ryan might be there :) and MAYBE this kid kevin? idk him. but thats cool. ryan and nick are fucking fun and i love them like no other. but during the day. idk. i might play some tenis with jerry?sjdfkghsdf i like tennis but wont try out for a team cause thats "his thing" er whatever. goddamn i'm a good sister. or something. maybe i'll go to the mall and find new friends? haha no. but i've always wanted to do that. one day i might. SOMETHING. I'M DEFINITLY DOING SOMETHING AND GOING SOMEWHERE.

mm i HATE when people make me feel 12 and stupid and shit. really. have some respect.

:) Alex.

ITS SEEMS LIKE I HAVEN'T TALKED TO JAYDEN IN FOREVERRRRRRRR. whatthefuck. :(

i miss the city.
done.

4march__murders @ 2005-09-03T01:32:00

2005-09-03T05:50:42Z

today we went to the city. the tain ride down as annoying as hell. i was sitting infront of some lady whos boyfriend wouldn't stop calling her and telling her to put in on speaker andasjdfdjkdf i wanted to shoot them both. but we got to grand central and my brother wanted to go see the us open. so him and my dad went and my mom and i went to time square. had THE BEST LUNCH I'VE EVER HAD at tgi fridays? i think it was.. && the hotdog vender outside the window wouldn't stop looking at me. so eventually i gave him a dirty look and he stopped :). some of the MOST BEAUTIFUL boys are in time square. its true. after lunch we just walked around there a little bit.. then went.. uptown? and went shopping. haha on the way to american apparel these two guys were like "awesome shirt the red chord is fucking amazing" so i just smiled and was all yeaaaah they are. :).. oh cause i was wearing my red chord shirt. duh. blah blah went to urban outfitters. saw nothing. went to american apparel. bought stuff. one thing i bought was these mest running shorts. YEAH HELLOGOODBYE HAS NOTHING ON ME!!! i basically love them. and other stuff. then went to places my mom wanted to. and one place.. the first floor was just perfumes and makeup and shit. & that basically KILLED my nose cause i couldn't stop sneezing.then i started not to feel well. but i was a good sport and let my mom do her shopping without complaining. then around 3 we left for home. so came home. ate like the whole bag of pretzels... bad idea since that made me feel worse. then blehed the rest of the day.

FINALLY REMEMBERED to call alex. & i'm fucking glad i did. that was one of the most weirdest and funniest conversations i thin i've ever had. he's really cute :).

asfbhsdfhjdfhg... about that guy i think i like even though i've hung out with him ONCE in my life.. stilllll cant stop thinking about him. & the WORST part is i'm not even sure of his name... dont ask.

tomorrow i'm going to seans with heather. dan's gonna be there and idk heather said something about some kid travis? ook whatever. should be loads of fun :).

tired & sorta not feeling well.
but better than before :).
night.

4march__murders @ 2005-09-01T17:11:00

2005-09-01T21:20:53Z

tomorrow i'm going to the city just to get out of here. but i'm going with my mom and hte man she married. and i'd VERY MUCH LOVE IT if someone came with me so i dont go nuts. because seriously if its just me my mom and my 'dad' i might kill someone. with all seriousness. so if anyone would like to let me know.

tonight i HOPE to go to blockbuster. cause i cant stand one more night with me doing nothing. and i cant hang out with anyone because a lot of peole are going to see the used. i'm sorry but the used sucks. BUT thats my opinon and its fine with me if you like them... but i kinda wish i could see ALexisonfire. whatever.

i didn't go job hunting today. i have no clue as to why. but i guess i'm doing that saturday or tuesday? as long as i find something that pays before october i'm good. instead me and my mom went for that long ride. which was fun. because i absolutely love long rides.

i have no friends. anymore. i have 5 best friends. danny w., matt, chris, carl and dan o. &&& 3 of them are off at college. & those three are my closest of them all. hjskfhgskghsjdfg i miss them like nothing else.

i dont think i've ever been this bored. like.. ever. &&&&& thats bad cause now i cant stop thinking about this boy that i have absolutely no chance with and if i dont stop i know i'm just going to end up hurting myself even more. fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. i'm screwed.

oh. finished designing my ink :). cant wait till i get it now.

alllllllright i'm done.

4march__murders @ 2005-09-01T00:19:00

2005-09-01T04:31:03Z

went to the mall today. saw basically. everyone. it was weird.my mom got some things & i got a cd cause i needed new music.

i'd seriously live a much happier life if i didn't see my dad. at all. he thinks just because "he was my age once he knows exactly what goes through my head". he doesn't know shit. and i'm sick of his bullshit. really am.

my brother got fired. again. this is no was his second job in.. i think 3(?) weeks... i dont know. i feel bad for him though. a little.

but yeah. tomorrow i'm going to look for a job. cause i need money. & i'm also going for a long ride. cause i love being in the car.

like sup gym shorts.

i like thunderstorms and stuff. but i odnt like how it looks and feels like theres going to be HUGE one and then it all just goes away. thats not fun at all.

i'm ready for winter.. ish.

ooooh. since me and jayden dont like school today we swam to thailand. HES MY E-BFFL AND FUCKING CUTE AS HELL. haha like mad love.

odghflgh friday i'm going to the city. who wants to join me?
and saturday i'm going to seans.

livejournalislame???

4march__murders @ 2005-08-30T16:32:00

2005-08-30T20:52:02Z

i hate being 15. i really do. everyone juges what you know and stuff by your age. its really stupid cause i'm smarter then anyone may think on certain subjects. others.. yeah i know i'm stupid and dont know what i'm doing. but i've grown up a lot this summer. and i hate how everyone think "oh she's 15 she doesn't know anything". take the time & get to know me and you'll be surprised.
....even though.. sometimes.. i like to have fun and do immature things. but honestly who doesn't do that shit.

anyways.

i maaay like this kid. but its really too soon to say. and the likelyness of something happening is slim to none becuase 1. thats just my luck and 2.... well thats a long story. but i'm the one to believe that if its ment to be then things will work out if if not then it wont. but then i believe that if oyu want something you ahve to "work" for it. udshfsu ugh goddamnit all.

i find it utterly gross when guys in they're upper 20's and 30's hit on me. i'd say from 24 & up. caase even the thought of then looking at me like that makes me want to throw up in the mouth twice. and what brings this up is when me and my mom went into this one tattoo place today. i mean.. the guy couldn't be younger then 27. he was all "hey gorgeous". so i'm NOT going there. ever again.

this may seem like a horrible thing and stuff but i'm really starting to hate some of my friends and all the drama they bring and everything. i CANT STAND drama and i'm beginning to see just how fake and "evil" they are. & when i say evil i mean they will stabe you in the back and then act like you're best friend or they will do that to one of your friends. & am realizing that.. to them.. i'm just they friend when they need someone to be they friend. so i'm done with them.

but i completely love the people i consider my real friends. & they should know who they are.

this is getting pretty long. so. let me just say.

JAYDENBUG is basically the funnest boy ever. :)

best conversation. ever.

2005-08-30T02:13:15Z

bulletbang murdr: okokok. so whats with boys and anal sex?!
bulletbang murdr: casue everyones like 'they're hot like anal sex"
bulletbang murdr: ewwwy
oXmehXfudginXgah: what the fuck its like the dont have anywhere else to put their wee wee's at jeez...... and theres poop like in the poop hole so why put more stuff in there???????? jesus
bulletbang murdr: its like.. a chocolate popsickle?
oXmehXfudginXgah: ewwwwwww but fuck yeah ewwwww HAHAH
oXmehXfudginXgah: EWWWWW
oXmehXfudginXgah: i just imagined it in my head
oXmehXfudginXgah: hahah
bulletbang murdr: hahahaha
oXmehXfudginXgah: haha chocolate popsicle
bulletbang murdr: haha ewwy. why'd i say that?
oXmehXfudginXgah: idont know.....but now i dont like chocolate popsickle sticks
oXmehXfudginXgah: haha
bulletbang murdr: i odnt even wanna think about ice cream anymore.
bulletbang murdr: sheiiiit. i ruined ice cream.

me & muhlisssssssah.
are badass. & ruin good foods.